the past week

My friends are coming!!! My best friend Julia and our very very good friend Chelsea are coming to London to see me!! Then we are going to Amsterdam. This is going to be exactly what I need. Things arent as great as last year, although they will be better by next year. Them coming is just going to make everything perfect. I can be myself in my element. Traveling and having fun and experiencing this crazy world!! Cant wait to experience it how it was meant to be experienced. :)

another night

Doesn’t take much
Just a tiny touch
Eyes meet
Moving feet
Stepping closer
He chose her
Strangers collide

this absolutely came out of nowhere

smiling on the inside
scowls on the out
someone tell me what shes all about
hipster girl,
who are you now?
do you change with the seasons
or stay your stay your same
what is the meaning of your hipster name?
do you try to look deshoveled,
or are you really falling apart?
why are you content
having a broken heart?
hipster girl,
who are you really?

i giggle when i watch myself

too bad blogs dont answer my questions

ive been tamed for the past 2 weeks. I made a biiiig mistake my first night out here so the past 2 weeks have been about me getting my act together. but tomorrow i get to go out again. :) not to say im going to be crazy again but im just so excited to be back in MY element. nighttime fun:) thats where i strive. smiling and dancing and laughing. im going out to shoreditch with a couple of my girlfriends. ive been thinking about it all week. also, wtf, why is he messaging me? why is he all of a sudden trying to keep in contact with me when all hes been trying to do the past couple months is push me away for this new girl. idk. ive always been aa firm believer in me and him being together. we worked. we didnt work, lol, but we worked. ill always hold a place for him in my heart and life, i believe. but how long do i wait for something that could possibly never happen. i told him i wouldnt message him anymore, but should that apply when he messages me first?

Farm life

Working on the farm has been awesome. At first i didnt think i would ever be interested in something like that but it has honestly been the only job i dont mind getting up early for. It makes me wonder if maybe i should be doing something in that field...

destructive

love for him, far more destructive than any drug. he goes right for the heart. he holds on tightly with absent hands. the unspoken conversations sink in deeper, as i sink deeper. downing. gasping for air. will you ever shallow your waters, enough at least for me to stay alive. for the longer i stay submerged, the deeper i plunge away from the light. and away from all hope.